The #1 Habit to improve your communication

Communicating with clarity is a key leadership skill.

 The business case

The biggest communication blocker: The Fear of Asking!

After years of leading across cultures and coaching decision-makers worldwide, one pattern keeps emerging: people don’t ask enough questions.

Whether it’s asking for clarification, feedback, support, insight, or simply perspective, many professionals hold back. Why?

Because they fear appearing weak, ignorant, intrusive, or confrontational.

Because they don’t want to disturb, offend, or lose face.

Because they assume others already know, should know, or wouldn't care.

I’ve seen entire teams operate for weeks on false assumptions—just because no one dared to ask for clarity. I’ve watched misunderstandings spiral into mistrust, simply because people were too polite—or too proud—to ask what the other party truly meant.

I’ve seen leaders hold back from supporting their teams properly, assuming they were supposed to know the answers instead of just asking what their people really needed.

So, if you want to enhance your communication, there’s one powerful place to start:

Ask questions.

To help, reconnect with your 5-year-old self – curious, open, and fearless in the pursuit of understanding.

And for the weeks ahead, here is my challenge to you: Dare to ask!

When something is unclear – ASK for clarification.

When you want or need something – ASK how to obtain it.

Instead of guessing what others want or think – ASK them.

This simple shift will unlock clarity, build trust, and show your teammates that you care… and what you care about.

Daring to ask questions is one of the fastest ways to grow your influence and be seen as a truly engaging leader - by your management, your peers, and your direct reports.

 The tool

The I.D.E.A. Model– A practical framework for feedback

The “IDEA” model is one of my favorite tools to deliver feedback and foster fluid, productive communication.

It is highly effective - steering the conversation toward facts, impact, and the need for change.  It provides a clear, respectful structure to help people express themselves with both impact and empathy.

Here’s how it works:

I = Introduce the context and your intention

Start by sharing why you want to have this conversation and what outcome you’re hoping for. This opens the door with transparency and care.

“I’d like to share something that I think can help you improve your collaboration with the team.”

D = Describe the observable facts

Avoid interpretation or judgment. Just state what happened, factually.

“In yesterday’s meeting, you interrupted your teammates several times before they could finish their point.”

E = Explain the impact

Share how this situation affected you, the team, or the work. Be specific and personal.

“I felt we missed out on many ideas that could have come from different points of view, and I noticed the team seemed frustrated about not having had a chance to speak.”

A = Ask for change or input

Instead of imposing a solution, ask for it. This invites collaboration and ownership.

“How could you approach future meetings to optimize communication among all participants? What could you gain from letting others share their ideas fully?”

 Used well, this tool helps bypass defensiveness, surface misunderstandings, and strengthen trust - even in tense or sensitive situations.

The quote

“We judge ourselves by our intention, but others judge us by our impact.” — Dwight Morrow & Harold Nicolson

This quote captures the essence of one of the biggest challenges in communication: the gap between intention and perception.

When we speak, we know what we mean and where we’re coming from.

Our words are (usually!) shaped by good intentions.

But that’s not necessarily what the other person hears.

Tone, timing, cultural norms, emotional state—even the language we use—can blur our message and distort our impact.

This happens to everyone, especially in fast-paced, multicultural environments.

So, if we want others to judge us by our intention, we must do the same for them.

Pause. Ask. Clarify. Give the benefit of the doubt.

It’s a great leadership skill!